Happy National Coming Out Day!!!

By my watch, it will be National Coming Out Day in 20 minutes. For those of you who don't know what that is, go HERE: http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming_out.asp

You don't have to be GLBT to come out! I am straight, but I still support equal rights for all genders and orientations. If you have a facebook, then you've probably seen a lot of status updates involving Coming Out Day. If this is something you believe in, then let people know about it. Let's show our support by coming out tomorrow! :)

One thing the facebook campaign has made me realize is just how ignorant I am of my friends' status. I was scrolling down my home page, thinking to myself, "Wow, I didn't know so-and-so was gay/bi/transgender. I guess I should pay more attention." Admittedly, I knew a lot of those people back in middle or high school, and many of them didn't know what they were yet. However, I think it's unspeakably cool that I have such diverse friends, and I plan on standing with them tomorrow (which is now only a few minutes away!).

Solidarity! Happy Coming Out Day, everyone!

Flying Teapots?

Bored, and haven't had any brilliant blogging ideas in quite some time...so you get a music shuffle-y thing! Enjoy.

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1.Put your iTunes or mp3 player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer

3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!

 * * *

 1. If someone asks for your opinion, you say:

"Open Your Mind" _Ai Yori Aoshi OST

2. How would you describe yourself?

"Superslick" _jazz ensemble

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

"Bad Habit" _The Dresden Dolls

4. How do you feel today?

"To Die For" _The Lion King OST

5. What is your life’s purpose?

"Whatever It Takes" _Michael Buble

6. What is your motto?

"God Is A Girl" _Groove Coverage

7. What do your friends think of you?

"Wordplay" _Jason Mraz

8. What do you think of your parents?

"Time After Time" _Cyndi Lauper

9. What do you think about very often?

"Blue" _Cowboy Bebop OST

10. What is 2+2?

"Mexico" _Incubus

11. What do you think of your best friend?

"Tonight, Tonight" _Passion Pit

12. What do you think of the person you like?

"See Who I Am" _Within Temptation

13. What is your life story?

"Words That We Couldn't Say" _Cowboy Bebop OST

14. What do you want to be when you grow up? 

"Blood On The Ground" _Incubus

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

"Now We Are Free" _Hans Zimmer

16. What will you dance to at your wedding? 

"Bad Boy" _Cascada

17. What will they play at your funeral? 

"That's Okay" _The Hush Sound

18. What is your hobby/interest?

"L" _Death Note OST

19. What is your biggest fear? 

"All Of Me" _Michael Buble

20. What is your biggest secret?

"Mysterious Ways" _U2

21. What do you think of your friends?

"Extreme" _UVERworld

22. What will you post this as?

"Flying Teapot" _Cowboy Bebop OST

* * *

Well, I hope at least some of you are nerdy enough to have enjoyed this. Yes, I'm still alive--it's been a long summer with no internet to be found... which of course means no blogging.

I do have some real news to divulge, but I'll leave that for later...I'm a bit drained at the moment.

I am not bipolar.

To be honest, I'm not that surprised. For one thing, I was aware of my symptoms, and a lot of people with severe psychological issues are not aware of them before they get serious.

I have, however, begun seeing a therapist, which has helped me immensely. Of course, I can't share any specific details (I assume confidentiality policy works both ways), but I'll at least share this: I was told that although I show signs of having a mood disorder, it is not severe enough to be diagnosed.

I am very thankful that that is the case. I was never really interested in taking medication or getting treatment for a Big Scary Psychological Disorder--because then, I would be hiding a medical problem from my family and friends, which is a lot tougher than hiding a couple of neurotic tendencies.

I'm going to try to lose weight over the summer. I'm spending it at my parents' house, because they seem to think that college students are required to do that by some unspoken law. To be honest, I'd prefer to stay in my apartment, but maybe the boring environment at their home will goad me into getting more creative projects done.

I have decided to try my hand at making my own clothing. Something I have never done before, unless you count bed sheet togas and duct tape skirts. We'll see how that turns out.

Thank you, audience. I may post over the summer, but it is not likely to be very often.

On Night

I haven't seen any sort of psychologist yet. I'm still worried about the weird way my emotions work, but it's been a busy couple of weeks, and I find myself making excuses to avoid seeing someone.

Excuse #1: I'm poor. I can't afford to see a qualified psychotherapist, but I'd rather do that than have to take medication. I like my brain; I don't want some chemicals doing anything to upset it.

Excuse #2: There is free psych help available at my university, but it's done by grad students in psychology and counseling. I might know some of these people, and without the anonymity, I don't think I can really open up.

Excuse #3: I've always enjoyed an element of mystery as to my mental state. Like philosophy, the human mind is something to be marveled at; beautiful because of its incomprehensibility. All that to say this: I'm scared to know what's really "wrong" with me. If it has a name, it has a face, and that means I'll have to face it.

There are more. There are many more, and they just get more and more trivial. One minute I feel strong; the next I feel like an idiot. One minute I'm with my friends and I feel loved; the moment they're gone I'm back where I started: alone and wondering how long it will be this time, until my Muses and I will get along again.

These sorts of thoughts hit me mostly at night. When the light of the sun removes its cheery gloss from the day, and all that's left are the vacuous night sky with stars like accusing eyes, staring down at me and saying, "Why have you wasted another day? You had your chance; you blew it. And you don't have many more chances." Come morning, those voices are gone, replaced by the overconfidence, the façade, and the excuses. And the cycle continues, until I start to lose my grip on things.

I'm going to the university's counseling website right now. I'm going to find out what I have to do to see someone; even if they haven't earned their degree yet. It's a start.

I think I might be bipolar.

I've read up on the signs, the symptoms, the effects. I've taken quiz after quiz...some more reliable than others. It's enough to get me a little worried.

I'm not a hypochondriac. I don't usually read the symptoms of a certain disease and then start to feel like I have it, and even when I do, it's not anything above the ordinary. (For instance, think about a seriously itchy rash for a few seconds. I dare you not to scratch.)

I'm looking into finding some personal consultation on the matter so I can know for sure, but in the meantime, if anyone knows of some reputable sources for finding help, please share. I've spent years wondering why I'm so much crazier than the people I know, and I think I'm ready to start fixing it.
  • Current Music
    David Nevue - "The Night Season"
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It begins. I have wanted for ages to start a blog, and finally, and a few years after it has started to go out of style, I have done so. Big whoop.

Because writing a whole lot of my personal thoughts on a blog page does nothing for me. It really doesn't. I could just as easily jot them down in a notebook, then shove said notebook in a drawer to gather dust (which, sadly, is normally what happens). However, I, like Kira, would rather use the anonymity of the internet to my advantage.

I want to ask people questions; get them thinking (or not). You can use them as writing prompts, or just take 'em and ramble for a while.

Here is the first of many:

Why do you blog? Or why not? Why do you read (or watch) other people's blogs?
  • Current Music
    Mortal Kombat theme
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